Comfort Was My Cage (and Self-Love Was the Key)

Safe felt secure—until it started to suffocate me.

We often think of self-love as something soft. Gentle. Easy. Warm bubble baths. Cosy nights in. Saying no to things that drain you.

And while all of that can be part of it, there’s a side of self-love we don’t talk about enough.

The messy, uncomfortable, courage-requiring kind.

The kind that asks you to stretch. To speak up. To try something before you feel ready.

The kind of self-love that says:

“I care about who I’m becoming more than I care about staying comfortable.”

Today’s Well-Being Wednesday collab piece is taken over by Love Alchemist

Sanaiyah Gurnamal

, host of Spotify Top 50 Project Loving Myself podcast.

✨Featured on CNN, Cosmopolitan, and Tatler, Sanaiyah believes that LOVE is your greatest power move in life, love, and business.

Today, she’s sharing five ways to make self-love your REAL power move outside your comfort zone because confidence and love are built on action.

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In this month’s Mindful Moments, we’re diving into June’s motto:

Stepping Boldly Outside Your Comfort Zone.

Today’s spotlight shines on

Sanaiyah Gurnamal

, a ThetaHealer and Instructor, enabling you to have the most important relationship with yourself!

Join us tomorrow on 26.06 at 4 pm CET as we go live to talk about our takeover pieces!

Today, she shares the dangers of staying stuck and how to show up for yourself.

She dives into the fear, plus how to actively build confidence out of your comfort zone.

This is about real growth, truth, trust, and the electric freedom that comes when you love yourself FULLY.

When you become a paid subscriber, you get midweek empowering collaboration pieces with some of the most inspirational voices I have found on here.

You pay attention to what you pay for:

And it is now time you deserve to know how to really grow and flow:

Whether you’re already loving yourself or stepping out of your comfort zone, you gotta keep going, growing, and glowing…

That is why I am here to bring you the best and most real advice.

These pieces empower you to apply practical advice in your life to be more fulfilled and empowered.

What are you waiting for? The time is now. And I am SO grateful for you and excited for this chapter of true transformation built on love.

Let this be your permission slip to share, grow, and shine beyond fear.

Here is last week’s collab packed full of wisdom:

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Here’s the truth most of us avoid:
Your comfort zone isn’t where you grow.
It’s where you shrink to fit.

I spent years playing small, hiding myself, avoiding being seen and staying comfortable.

Until I could no longer do it.

I lost my passion. I lost my confidence. I forgot who I was. And finding my way back wasn’t easy—it took reflection, courage, and a hundred tiny brave choices.

But it showed me something important:

If you want to truly love yourself, not just in theory, but in action.

You have to get brave enough to leave what’s comfortable behind.

Is “Safe” Keeping You Small?

Let’s be honest: staying in your comfort zone sounds pretty boring, but it sure feels good.

It’s familiar. Predictable.

You know how to navigate it, even if it’s slowly draining the life out of you.

Maybe it’s the relationship you’ve outgrown, but keep holding on to it because it’s “not that bad.”

Maybe it’s the job you’ve mastered—but that leaves you uninspired and invisible.

Maybe it’s the habit of staying quiet when your truth is screaming to be heard.

Comfort makes us feel safe.

But often, what we call safe is really just stuck.

So here’s a radical question:

What if staying stuck is more dangerous than taking a risk?

Because every time you silence your truth to keep the peace...

Every time you stay small to avoid being judged...

Every time you hold back from doing the thing that scares and excites you...

You chip away at your self-trust.

And without self-trust, there’s no foundation for self-love.

The Real Risk? Not Growing.

We think that if we love ourselves, we’ll protect ourselves from discomfort.
But the opposite is often true:

When you truly love yourself, you dare to be uncomfortable—because you know you’re worth what’s on the other side of it.

You speak up in the meeting.
You say no even when it might disappoint someone.
You finally start the project you’ve been secretly dreaming about for years.

Not because it’s easy.
But because staying where you are no longer fits who you want to be.

Stepping out of your comfort zone is a vote for yourself.
It’s you saying:

“I choose growth over fear. I choose me over approval. I choose to show up for my life.”

And that?
That’s radical self-love in motion.

The Fear Will Be Loud—Do It Anyway

Let’s be real. Stepping out of your comfort zone doesn’t feel good at first.
It might feel friggin’ terrifying.

You’ll question yourself.
You’ll wonder if you’re being foolish.
You’ll hear the voices from your past telling you to play it safe.

But fear doesn’t mean stop.

Fear means you’re standing at the edge of a breakthrough.

Here’s what I remind my clients all the time:

Fear isn’t a red light—it’s a green light with resistance.

Growth always comes with resistance.
That’s how you know it’s stretching you into a new version of yourself.

So don’t aim to be fearless.
Aim to be brave.

Fearless says, “I’m not afraid.”
Brave says, “I’m scared… and I’m doing it anyway.”

Do it anyway.

Don’t Wait for Confidence—Build It

Many of us wait to feel ready before we take the leap. We wait until we feel confident to start the thing, end the relationship, raise our hand, or raise our prices.

But here’s the truth:

Confidence doesn’t come from waiting.
Confidence is built through action.

It’s born from doing the thing scared—again and again—until your belief gets louder than your fear.

So if you’ve been waiting for clarity, certainty, or permission?

This is your nudge:
Start now.
Start before you are ready.
The confidence will catch up.

Stretch, Stumble, Grow

Every time you step out of your comfort zone, you collect proof.

• Proof that you can do hard things.

• Proof that you can survive discomfort.

• Proof that your intuition knows best.

And every piece of proof strengthens your relationship with yourself.

That’s how self-love builds—not just through stillness or soothing rituals, but through the stretch.

Sometimes it looks like crying in your car after a hard conversation.
Sometimes it looks like launching before your website is perfect.
Sometimes it means leaving when no one else understands why.

But you do it anyway.

Because you know you’re worth more than playing small.

And that self-trust?
That’s how you do it again. And again.

This Is Your Power Move

So many of us are waiting.

Waiting for the right time.
Waiting for a sign.
Waiting for someone to say “go.”

But here’s what you need to know:

You don’t need permission to choose yourself.
You don’t need clarity to take the first step.
You don’t need the fear to go away before you move.

All you need is one brave decision.
One stretch.
One honest yes.

And then another. And another.

That’s how we grow—step by intentional step.
That’s how we stop hiding and start honoring who we truly are.
That’s how we love ourselves into the life we were always meant to live.

Your Invitation Is…

What’s one thing your heart is calling you to do… that your fear is trying to talk you out of?

Maybe it’s ending something that’s run its course.
Maybe it’s starting something no one understands but you.
Maybe it’s finally putting yourself first.

Whatever it is, listen to it.
Then move.

Even if it’s small.
Even if it’s scary.
Even if your voice shakes.

Because loving yourself doesn’t always look like rest.
Sometimes, it looks like risk.

And every time you stretch, you’re telling yourself:

“I believe in myself. I’ve got this.”

And that, my love, is what self-love really looks like.

💗 Want to Know How Strong Your Self-Love Is?

Take the Self-Love Scorecard—a quick 3-minute quiz that shows you where you’re showing up for yourself… and where you might still be slipping into old patterns.
It’s honest. Eye-opening. And it might just shift the way you see yourself, for good.

About the Author
Sanaiyah Gurnamal is a Relationship Reinvention Coach, host of the Spotify Top 50 & #1 Trending podcast Project Loving Myself, and founder of The Third Eye Wellness Centre.

Known as the Love Alchemist, she helps high-achieving women break free from past patterns, reclaim their sense of worth, and create lives emPOWERED by love.

Featured on CNN, Cosmopolitan, and Tatler, Sanaiyah believes that love is your greatest power move in life, love, and business.

Here’s her podcast, Project Loving Myself, which I will be starring on soon!!

Find her on www.sanaiyahgurnamal.com or @sanaiyahgurnamal on all social channels.