What I appreciated here is the distinction between healing and emotional self-management.
A lot of people use positivity as a way to negotiate with pain rather than actually feel it. The result is often not peace, but exhaustion layered with guilt for still struggling underneath the affirmations...
Oh yes, I can totally relate to this, repeating positive affirmations in the mirror every morning while feeling more and more depressed! Allowing the feelings to just be, instead of trying to suppress or deny them made all the difference. I've been loving your positivity (hopefully not toxic :p) and encouraging words here on Substack by the way!
Hi Nathalie! Thanks for reading and resonating. Wow crazy you can relate to that part... Do affirmations work now? I'm obsessed (again aha), but agree that during depression, the 🗝️ was to allow the feelings to just be, as you say. Lol I'm far from toxic and so happy you're here! 😊👏🏻
Grace, you are so right that it is easier to be negative. Perhaps because finding fault is easier than enjoying the good. After all, if I enjoy or recognize joy, I will come to expect it. That lends itself to future disappointment.
James, I always appreciate your comments and reflections! Expecting joy becomes your baseline because that's your foundation... Sure, disappointment comes but joy can become your way instead of negativity..does that make sense? It's easier for us because of the way we are wired to "survive"
I completely agree with all of this, but I will also say that while yes, we are wired to scan for problems, we have also been conditioned to be good problem solvers, that is all school teaches us while teaching us to override our instincts, our intuition, our gut, etc. While I don’t disagree that problem solving is important, the idea that we have equated being good problem solvers with being good people, productive members of society, etc, it means that we have begun obsessively scanning for problems way more than any animals in the wild do. What our brains are doing now is absolutely not normal. Sometimes we fixate so much on a perceived problem, that we create it (I am guilty of having done it myself before I became aware of it, along with everyone else I know). Especially when things feel good, many people freak out and do something to disrupt it because they’re brace so hard for the other shoe to drop. When I really learned to listen to my inner knowing, and trust it with time, the problem scanning, constant mind chatter, rumination, anxiety, etc - it largely disappeared, especially when I also became aware of it and would ask myself if I was just looking for problems because I was so uncomfortable and unfamiliar with that just feeling good. There is a way to feel generally at peace, full of joy and gratitude, without forcing it - and it definitely still means feeling all the uncomfortable stuff that comes up too, but it happens a lot less frequently.
Thanks for sharing the interesting shift from positive thinking to truth. I do love affirmations, yet I have shifted mine to not be a fix but a remembrance, as they arise from my meditations and come from truth. 😊
that is so beautiful Laura! Making your mantras from meditations that remind you of your truth and not taking any that dont align with your soul. What is your go-to mantra these days?
Hi! Ooh human systems and as a software engineer - sounds like you're debugging us like a program aha! Thanks for being here and welcome to substack 🌞 look forward to reading your work
What I appreciated here is the distinction between healing and emotional self-management.
A lot of people use positivity as a way to negotiate with pain rather than actually feel it. The result is often not peace, but exhaustion layered with guilt for still struggling underneath the affirmations...
Hi There,
https://princejefferson.substack.com/p/the-real-reason-silence-makes-you?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=6204je
Oh yes, I can totally relate to this, repeating positive affirmations in the mirror every morning while feeling more and more depressed! Allowing the feelings to just be, instead of trying to suppress or deny them made all the difference. I've been loving your positivity (hopefully not toxic :p) and encouraging words here on Substack by the way!
Hi Nathalie! Thanks for reading and resonating. Wow crazy you can relate to that part... Do affirmations work now? I'm obsessed (again aha), but agree that during depression, the 🗝️ was to allow the feelings to just be, as you say. Lol I'm far from toxic and so happy you're here! 😊👏🏻
Grace, you are so right that it is easier to be negative. Perhaps because finding fault is easier than enjoying the good. After all, if I enjoy or recognize joy, I will come to expect it. That lends itself to future disappointment.
James, I always appreciate your comments and reflections! Expecting joy becomes your baseline because that's your foundation... Sure, disappointment comes but joy can become your way instead of negativity..does that make sense? It's easier for us because of the way we are wired to "survive"
I completely agree with all of this, but I will also say that while yes, we are wired to scan for problems, we have also been conditioned to be good problem solvers, that is all school teaches us while teaching us to override our instincts, our intuition, our gut, etc. While I don’t disagree that problem solving is important, the idea that we have equated being good problem solvers with being good people, productive members of society, etc, it means that we have begun obsessively scanning for problems way more than any animals in the wild do. What our brains are doing now is absolutely not normal. Sometimes we fixate so much on a perceived problem, that we create it (I am guilty of having done it myself before I became aware of it, along with everyone else I know). Especially when things feel good, many people freak out and do something to disrupt it because they’re brace so hard for the other shoe to drop. When I really learned to listen to my inner knowing, and trust it with time, the problem scanning, constant mind chatter, rumination, anxiety, etc - it largely disappeared, especially when I also became aware of it and would ask myself if I was just looking for problems because I was so uncomfortable and unfamiliar with that just feeling good. There is a way to feel generally at peace, full of joy and gratitude, without forcing it - and it definitely still means feeling all the uncomfortable stuff that comes up too, but it happens a lot less frequently.
Thanks for sharing the interesting shift from positive thinking to truth. I do love affirmations, yet I have shifted mine to not be a fix but a remembrance, as they arise from my meditations and come from truth. 😊
that is so beautiful Laura! Making your mantras from meditations that remind you of your truth and not taking any that dont align with your soul. What is your go-to mantra these days?
Thanks Grace. One that has been coming through this week is:
I trust the direction of my heart. 💜💫
how beautiful! our hearts always remind us of the truth!!
Hi! Ooh human systems and as a software engineer - sounds like you're debugging us like a program aha! Thanks for being here and welcome to substack 🌞 look forward to reading your work